Something Sacred

My Mother, was born in Brooklyn, New York in 1916. That in and of itself, is nothing special, however, what is special is that my mother’s, Mother and Father, were born in New York prior to the turn of the century and that is special. What is really special, is that my m\Mother’s grandmother and grandfather were born in the United States in the middle of the 19^th century and that is almost unheard for Jews. You’ve got it right, I am a fifth generation American born Jew.

My Mother with little or no knowledge of what it meant to be Jewish, married a first generation American Jew and the son of Hassidick Malamud (teacher). My Father’s parents spoke Yiddish in their home and little or no English. My Mother’s parents spoke German and Hungary, although born in the United States.

Before the turn of the 20^th Century there were about 500,000 Jews in the US and most of them were German and Hungarian born. Between 1880 and 1920 two million Jews immigrated to the US from eastern Europe. Jews were looking to escape the pogroms of Shtetel life that would force young Jewish men to serve in the Military, often, never to be seen again. Jewish families also sought freedom from the indignity of discrimination imposed by police, military and civilian mobs.

My Zayde and Bubbe came here from Austria-Poland in 1905. First my Zayde came and then he brought my Bubbe and their two oldest children. My father and his younger brother were born here in the US.

My Zayde was a Sadia Ger Chassid and a Malamud (teacher) and my Bubbe ran a Kosher Dairy restaurant on the lower east side. When my father married my mother, his parents wanted proof of her Jewish lineage.

My Mother had little or no Jewish identity. Her parents lived completely secular lives. Esther, my mother, had a Jewish name and new she was Jewish but that was the depth of her Jewish identity. Esther was orphaned by the time she 17 years old and only she and her younger brother were left. My mother was forced to care for her younger brother with a little help from cousins.

Esther dropped out of High School to work at S. Klein’s a large home-goods store. Her meager wages provided for herself and her brother George. My mother had no recollection of Sabbath or Kashrut or anything Jewish in her parents’ home. Passover had a place in her memory because they would join one of their cousin’s for a Seder at The Pride of Judea Home, orphanage, in New York. My Mother’s cousin were benefactors to the home.

When my Father married my Mother it was as if he had married someone from a foreign land who didn’t know the customs or the language.

My Mother did not keep kosher, make Sabbath meals, or light Sabbath Candles. The Yartshites of her parents were not observed. My Mother didn’t attend Synagogue, not even on Yom Kippur. Then something completely unimaginable happened. Something unexpected and unpredictable. Something that would change her life forever.

One day, after returning from religious school, I announced that I wasn’t going to eat from my mother’s kitchen anymore. My Mother didn’t have a clue as to why, so she asked; don’t you like the way I cook? I thought to myself; Why would she think that I didn’t like her cooking. “Of course I like the way you cook.” It was clear that my Mother didn’t have a clue, and then she asked; “Why won’t you eat from my kitchen?” “We don’t keep kosher and God wants Jewish people to eat kosher”. “How do you know that?”, she asked. Rabbi Lieberman said; “God commanded us to only eat kosher;” I went on to explain that we needed to kosher our kitchen. I was only eight years old at the time and my mother didn’t have a clue what it meant to keep kosher but she was supportive and so she took my feelings seriously.

My Mother was a practical soul and she was also the Mother of six sons. Every day, at least one of her sons wanted something. Today, Peter, wanted a kosher kitchen and she took my request in stride. Esther assumed that this was a fad and I would get over it. My mother didn’t make Chazer (pork) and she used kosher meat, for my Father’s sake, so she assumed that keeping kosher wasn’t a huge stretch. Mom promised me that she would Kosher the kitchen on Passover if it was still important. We had just started the school year so waiting for Passover would allow her six months time to observe my interest in Judaism.

Passover came and Rabbi Lieberman came to the house to help my Mother kosher the kitchen. For the first Passover we used the most minimal dishes and stove-ware to take care of the holiday. The Sunday after Passover we drove from our suburban home, to the Lower East-side, were Fortunoff’s, a large Jewishly owned housewares store was headquartered. My Mother and Father purchase all new dishes fleshig (Meat) milchig (Dairy) and pots and pans to go along. We Toiveled the dishes in a local Mikvah (a tradition of dipping the dishes in rain water) and low and behold we had a kosher kitchen. Did my interest last, you may ask, by the time I turned ten, I was traveling 45 minutes by train, in each direction to attend Yeshiva six days a week.

Kashruth, Sabbath, Tallit, Teffilin, Shabbat Candles are ways we hold on to our heritage. It’s also a way we transfer our faith to future generations. I can remember as if it were yesterday, my Mother standing before the Shabbath candles and saying the blessing in English; “who commanded us to light the Shabbath Candles.” Observance provides a personal connection with tradition and God Almighty.

What makes my Mother’s story amazing is that without the slightest connection to Judaism, she remained Jewish. However, in my mother’s days, Jews were not really welcome outside the Jewish community. Cultural diversity and tolerance were yet to be learned and some would say, still to be learned. Nevertheless, I believe if my Mother grew up in my generation, the outcome would have been very different. If Esther had lived today, in all likelihood, she would not have survived as a Jewish woman to raise a Jewish family.

The Pew Research Center in 2013 spoke of a changing horizon for American Jewry. The Pew survey described an energetic Jewish community and reported “that Jewish identity is changing in America, where one-in-five Jews (22%) now describe themselves as having no religion”.

Conservative Judaism once was the description of the majority of Jews, now only 18% of Jews identify as Conservative having changed places with Reform Judaism representing 35% of Jewish households. For sure the moderate branches of Judaism are shrinking and the more traditional branches are growing. The moderate branches of Orthodoxy are growing but not nearly as fast as the Hassidim are growing.

Why is this happening? There is not one simple answer but part of the answer has something to do with spiritual satisfaction. Satisfaction is not easily achieved in general. Ask a musician if they are satisfied with their skills or an artist are they are satisfied with their skills. Few people are satisfied and success often depends on us seeking greater ability. Spirituality is the same. Religious people are always seeking to improve their relationship with God.

“Healthy start” is a good recommendation for all things. Children should have a healthy start in their day, meaning a decent meal. A “healthy start” in their education and a “healthy start” in their spiritual identity. We can begin by regularly providing our families with something sacred to cling to while we express the sense of sacredness we experience. In this equation there must be truth and integrity. I recommend that everyone choose a comfortable path and make sure your family has and maintains a healthy start.